On procrastinating and the “realm of possibilities”
I have a young friend who dreams of becoming a novelist, but who never seems to be able to complete his work. According to him, his job keeps him too busy, and he can never find enough time to write novels, and that's why he can't complete work and enter it for writing awards. But is that the real reason? No! It's actually that he wants to leave the possibility of “I can do it if I try” open, by not committing to anything. He doesn't want to expose his work to criticism, and he certainly doesn't want to face the reality that he might produce an inferior piece of writing and face rejection. He wants to live inside that realm of possibilities, where he can say that he could do it if he only had the time, or that he could write if he just had the proper environment, and that he really does have the talent for it. In another five or ten years, he will probably start using another excuses like “I'm not young anymore” or “I've got a family to think about now”.
This is a quote from The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi. The part on the “realm of possibilities” strikes particularly close: in this realm, you can be as great as you think you are for as long as you want – there is no effort to spend in making plans, and no chance of failing.